The Flag, the Funeral and the Conference

Posted on by jsudar

Last week was hectic. Really hectic.

Monday: Packed for a week’s trip. Finished running errands and getting ready by 1am.

Tuesday: Up at 6am. Out the door by 7:30am. Funeral at 11:45am at Ft. Logan in Denver. After the funeral, the Thomas family, Dan and I went out for breakfast/lunch at the Littleton Cafe, which use to be an IHOP. In fact, it was the IHOP that John and I use to go to for breakfast before speech meetings. It was great. Granted, the cafe was probably glad when the 22-23 of us finally left.  After that, we headed over to Judy’s house and visited for a while. When Dan and I got ready to leave, Erin asked me to wait. He had something for me. It was the flag that he’d been presented with as eldest son. He said that as I had been the military wife for 17 years, that I should have it.

John Thomas' flag

Later that night, we went to the wake held by the SCA. It was lovely. Lots of good food, friends and drink.

Wednesday: After sleeping in, and a brief trip to IKEA, we headed to Colorado Springs for the CASB conference. We checked into the hotel and collapsed.

Thursday-Sunday: The Colorado Association of School Boards 75th Annual Winter Conference. It was a good one. I didn’t get elected to the CASB board, but I will run again next year. Learned a lot. Saw a lot of people and made some new connections. I will have a bunch of stuff to tell my board.

Today. Catch up day. Job day. Deal with insurance day. My head is spinning and it isn’t even noon yet. Oh, and the week isn’t slowing down yet. Tomorrow is the school board meeting. Wednesday, we go shopping in Pueblo. Saturday is John’s memorial down here at the library. sigh….

John Thomas 1958-2015

Posted on by jsudar

This is my ex’s obit that is running on our local paper this week.

John Thomas

07/18/1958 – 11/21/2015

John was born in Camden, Maine to Maurice and Barbara Thomas. The family moved to Littleton, Colorado when he was four years old. They survived the 1965 South Platte River flood, although the house did not. After graduating from Littleton High School in 1976, John joined the Air Force. John served at Chanute AFB, Minot AFB, Cannon AFB, Torrejon AFB in Spain, and Lakenheath AFB in England. John married Jaye Sudar and they had four sons.

John and family returned from England in 1993 and moved to Walsenburg. John worked for City Auto and Alys’ Fireside Café for a brief while and then became a library assistant at the Huerfano County Library. He continued to work at the library, serving as Assistant Director and Network Administrator for over a decade. He was instrumental in the library’s reorganization into the Spanish Peaks Library District, and its later move to the refurbished Huerfano County High School. His accomplishments in expanding the library’s access to technology will continue to benefit Huerfano County for years to come.

In recent years, John was a leader in the founding of the Shire of Villaleon, the local chapter of the international medieval history club the Society for Creative Anachronism. His personal area of interest was Spain and the colonies of New Spain in the sixteenth century. Drawing on this shared love of history, he made friends around the world, including many other current and former service members in all branches of the US Armed Forces.

John is survived by his father Maurice Thomas, brother Wayne, and sisters, Jayne and Judy. His sons, Erin Thomas (Morgan), Stefan Thomas, Bryan Thomas (Katie), Daniel Thomas, and his ex wife, Jaye Sudar. Grandchildren Logan, Ewan, Kurt, Anabell, Faye, Celestial, Kouie, Gavin, Talon, and Raven. His fiancée, Beth Harper, and soon-to-be stepchildren Madison and Morgan. Numerous cousins, nieces, nephews, and children of his heart.

He was interred with military honors at Ft. Logan National Cemetery in Denver on December 2nd and a memorial will be held at the Spanish Peaks Library on December 12th from 3-5pm.

Just When you think…

Posted on by jsudar

You might have a quiet moment…  Life throws you a curve ball.

Last Thursday we got a call that my ex, John Thomas, was seriously ill in hospital. At that point, they didn’t know what was going on with him. They thought that his cancer may have come back. They thought that the test might have scratched his esophagus. No. Finally, they discovered that he had a huge gallstone and his gallbladder was infected. The doctors tried everything. We were told that he had a 20% chance of making it through the night.

Friday, we went up to see him. The outlook was not good, and amidst tears, Dan and I said our goodbyes. Beth, his fiancee, my sons Bryan and Daniel, Angela, Sean and Hannah, and many SCA friends were there. All of us were doing our best to support Beth, and hope that John might pull a miracle and survive.

Dan and I left Pueblo after having dinner with Daniel and Angela. We drove home with heavy hearts, knowing deep down that we’d be getting a call. At 4am, Maddy called to tell us that John had passed. It was one of those terrible moments when you feel you should do something, and yet know there is nothing to do.

Today, we’ve been trying to figure out various bits and pieces. Who owns the house? (me, with mortgage). What do we need to do? When is the funeral? All those horrid chores that must be done. On top of that, over the weekend, we had a realization that as a common law couple, Beth had very few rights. They had planned to marry in August, at Battlemoor. Much of the support structure goes to the individuals with “legal” or familial rights. As John’s ex-wife, I had more rights, which was just wrong on so many levels.

My solution? A gofundme campaign to raise money to help Beth deal with all the financial needs. So, Have a Heart. Follow the link, and donate. Make me go “Whoa!” when I open my email and see all of the donations in the morning. Better yet, help Beth, who lost the man she loved.

juan2