Lawyers and paperwork and dogs Oh My!

Here it is Saturday, and I finally have more than a few minutes to read my email and GASP!!! , write in my journal. I have been at the D.A.’s office for a week now. Technically, I don’t have a contract any more, but that is fine by me. Don’t like to sign contracts during Mercury in Retrograde. Lee, the D.A., said I’m to come to work on Tuesday, so that is fine by me. I guess that I will work the whole week and then find out if I have the full time job.

Everyone at the office thinks that Linda, the “HR person” is daft to hire me for a couple of weeks and then let me go. Stupid to re-train a totally new person. However, no one ever said she was intelligent. I like the job. There are some daft things about it though.

I know I was thrown in at the deep end of things, but I have managed to cope with it all. I know that there are still some bits of the job I’m a tad shaky on, but not surprising all considered. I’ve learned some crazy facts about this county. They’d probably be true of any small town…

  • 75-80% of the crimes are committed by 4 or 5 families. The same names keep popping up. Sometimes the same last name, other times the same exact name. Some of these people have 6-7 files all at the same time! Some people never learn!
  • Not all lawyers are as portrayed on TV…. (duh!) One of them plays solitaire instead of working. Another needs his ‘mommy’ to dress him! Came in with an unironed shirt on! All I could think of was no wonder things screw up in court if these are the people responsible for interpreting the law! I know that there have to be good ones out there, but OMHGS! One of them is also missing a can and the plastic ringy thing to hold the sixpack together!
  • Paperwork will eat you alive! I think in a week I personally went through 4 reams of paper. I probably handled 16 or 18 reams of paper. It’s everywhere and multiplies in the dark!
  • There are NO SECRETS IN SMALL TOWNS!!! I was trying to be polite and not mention names when talking about people when the other secretary said “oh yeah, you mean…..” and then filled me in on all the other bits I hadn’t known about that particular person. Gossip, thy name is the D.A. office and dispatch center!
  • Keystone cops don’t exist just in movies! We had cops trying to pull a suspect out from under a car, and couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t move! That’s when they discovered that two different cops had two different limbs and were pulling from two different sides of the car!
  • I have a very strong stomach. My fellow office mates were worried that I would be upset by pictures of dead bodies, dead animals or sexual case photos. I had to assure them that they don’t bother me. (which is true) I also learned that neither of them can cope with pictures of dead animals. sigh…. I guess I will be handling all the road kill pictures.

Last but not least, the person that hired me lost my application for the full time job. So, I frantically had to reassemble everything and fill out a new form for application on Wednesday during my lunch hour, because the Assistant D.A. was holding interviews that afternoon. In the middle of all of this, Daniel called and wanted me to be home at 5pm on the dot to meet his girlfriend’s mom. I told him I’d try, but that I was rather busy.

I had my interview, which I think went well, and made it home in time to find Daniel and Breanna waiting for me outside with her mom. Oh, and a very SMALL puppy. Breanna was sad that Daniel lost Oscar, and wanted to give him one of the puppies that her dog had had about 7 weeks ago. This puppy is a chihuahua miniture bulldog mix. Probably weighs 2 pounds. Which is really funny, because there has been a 7 week old puppy running around the sheriff’s office all week that we have been playing with. His name is Mongo. He weighs 25 pounds, is 7 weeks old and is a mastiff great dane mix.  Mongo’s head is bigger than the other puppy.

Of course, in light of Breanna wanting to give Daniel a puppy, I didn’t have the heart to say no. So, Daniel is now the proud “parent” of a dog named Fatty. He was the fattest in the litter. (omhgs!) John fumed, but gave in.

Today, I did sleep in a bit! Huzzah! Working 8 to 5 has been a challenge, as my system was set to non-school time! However, my parents came into town on Thursday and we are cleaning the sewers for 408, 520 and 203 today. Dan and I will be stinky!! ewwwww…..

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